How to Set Your Boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential for developing into successful adults. When we make the bridge from adolescence to adulthood, those who are older than us always feel the need to input into our lives. It’s incredibly annoying, daunting and overwhelming. We need to set boundaries so we can realize our fullest potential. Taking advice from others can be wise and useful, however it limits us. How will we be able to make our own decisions, learn from mistakes or see our visions through, if we are always looking for others to make decision for us?

Setting boundaries can look like putting ourselves first. They can sound like taking accountability for ourselves and our actions.

Moving. Leaving a toxic environment or even just moving for your own good and development is setting boundaries. Many cultures have heard the all too common phrase “my house, my rules”. Well that is exactly why moving to your own home allows you to set boundaries. You are able to choose your own house rules. Whether it be eating whatever you please on your terms without judgment. Or finally feeling at peace knowing you have autonomy over the place you live or how loud you play your music. Each persons reasoning for moving will be different, but the outcome of peace may be the same.

Spending Time Alone. Spending time alone gives us an opportunity to discover what brings us peace. It’s essential to silence the noise of other people’s expectations. By doing so, we can truly decide what we want.

Choosing when you want to communicate and with whom. Society has made us feel guilty for putting ourselves first. Sometimes we need to delay responding to messages or emails so we can respond at our best. No one is entitled to your immediate response; unless you’ve signed some contract. For people who really care about you, tell them you’ll call them back. Sometimes talking to those who show you genuine love will help you feel better. How and where you spend your energy and time is your choice.

Workplace Boundaries. Workplace boundaries were always hard for me to develop. I wanted to be an All-Star employee so I would overwork myself for my manager’s approval. As I got older, more educated, and spent time around a variety of co-workers, I realized none of that matters. Most jobs display favoritism. So even if you outwork someone, are never late, and always agree to extra tasks, someone who is doing less may still be treated better. Ultimately you should be appreciated for all of your efforts. You deserve to be rewarded with raises and promotions. If anyone tries to belittle you, make you uncomfortable or expect more than you’re being paid for, you should set boundaries with clear and professional communication. There will always be a better position and company if they are unwilling to respect you.

Relationship Boundaries. Each relationship will have their own set rules for what they tolerate. Every relationship should include