Beeing Bee

Reflect: The first thing we need to do is reflect. We should reflect on our past encounters with others. We should reflect on the goals we’ve set for ourselves. Most importantly we need to reflect on how we treat ourselves. 

Emotions: We should decide what emotions arise from these reflections. Do you feel remorse for your past encounters? Are you passionate about your goals? Should you improve the way you treat yourself? 

External: Has anyone told you how they felt about your encounter? Have you opened up to hearing their side ? Have you apologized ? Have you written down your goals ? Have you made an action plan to achieve said goals ? Have others noticed or commented on how you treat yourself ? 

Intentions: Do you want to apologize ? Are you ready for this next step? If you weren’t… you wouldn’t be reading this. 

Action: After taking time to reflect and critically think you can now plan how you’ll take accountability. Accountability requires changed behavior. Some examples include:

• Asking for consent every time 
• Stopping violent reactions
  • Utilizing anger management resources 
  • Removing yourself from triggering situations 
  • Avoiding triggering people 
• Respecting someone’s boundaries
  • Follow their rules 
  • End connection if impossible to comply 
• Thinking and breathing before you respond
  • Deep breaths for 5-10 counts 
• Improving your relationship with food
  • Find healthy alternatives for the foods you enjoy 
  • Remind yourself of the benefits of eating  
  • Select a reason why fasting is healthy for you
  • Work with a nutritionist and/or Eating Disorder Expert 
• Enriching yourself physically and mentally
  • Read, Write, Create, Learn 
  • Exercise, Stretch, Maintain Physical Activity 
• Following through with your Goal steps
  • Do at least one thing every day that brings you closer to your goals

Note it: Write down which changed behaviors you agree to. Make it your screensaver, post it on a mirror you see often, place it on a refrigerator door. Just ensure you place it somewhere you will see daily. 

Reward yourself: Give yourself an incentive for holding yourself accountable. Maybe it’s buying yourself ice cream or taking yourself on a vacation. Maybe it’s beginning to date again. Just make sure the incentive is inspiring enough for you to strive for it. Additionally, reward yourself periodically. Whether it’s after a week of changed behavior, a month, 90 days, or a year+. You should determine the duration of the reward according to the severity of the problem. If you’ve hurt yourself or others multiple times in viscous ways, you should prolong your reward. 

Follow up: After each reward, you should ensure you continue this changed behavior. Soon enough it will become ingrained in you, second nature as folks say. Repetition of positive changed behavior is the key to success. 

Thanks for listening to Author Bee

On Beeing Bee